How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
