Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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