They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Farmville is her only friend.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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