my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
