You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Randomize
