"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
