Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
