I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
