So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
