well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
false alarm, still single
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