Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm like, not good at living.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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