He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My penis needs a shock collar
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
