THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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