wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
