Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
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