she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize