ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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