just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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