Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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