booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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