I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
