she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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