Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
