Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
