talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
