She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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