I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize