11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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