he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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