if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
