I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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