remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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