you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
