do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
