Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize