its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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