Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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