Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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