Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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