covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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