so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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