that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you would pick up someone in the library
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
