I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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