Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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