quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize