Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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