It's Friday. Sex?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
