He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
