Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize