i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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