i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
