I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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