Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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