I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
