Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize