So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've blown a few things in my day
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
