i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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