You're completely useless in the revolution.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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