she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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