And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
